cone of silence

Hold onto your hats kids, there is good news from the Southland..I'm alive.

I suppose I owe you all an explanation for my extended absence, so instead of offering up just one, Ive decided to offer up a bunch of them. Please feel free to select whichever helps you sleep at night.

1.) I was so upset about Bassi's vicious attack on my (charming) parentheses usage that I couldn't bring myself to blog anymore. However, after some pep talks, I have come to realize that the parentheses are like my signature move. [(Elvis had his pelvic thrust, Paris Hilton has her annoying dogs, I have my parentheses. (So suck it up and like it)]

2.) Ive really just been too busy. With an ungodly combination of trips to miami (true), planning attempts to kidnap and torture Pat Robertson (maybe true--cause hes CRAZY) http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/01/05/robertson.sharon/index.html, and having a crazy pre-playoff fling with Tom Brady (ok ok ok not true), Ive simply been too busy to tell you all about all of the fastcinating things going on in my life. You should be happy I even signed up to tell you about my fabulous and exciting life. So there.


3.) Lets be honest here for a minute (because honestly is important..and so are beer and pancakeisms--more on that later) my co-bloggers are great. Im not just saying this because they are my best friends, but they are truly fun and interesting people with cool things to say. So lets just say that I was wracked by insecurities about my own blog posts, a bit of bloggers block if you will. I think it is fairly obvious that this was a clear side-effect of that horrific quasi-high school reunion I managed to walk into over Thanksgiving. That was seriously my last post, and I think it is obvious that that night almost ruined me and all that Ive come to stand for. Luckily (for me and all 15 of our blog readers), it seems that I have good people around me who have been able to build me, and my blogging self esteem back up.

4.) This one is actually true, and while Im not big into real life on the blog, my grandma has been in the hospital since the Wednesday after Christmas. She had two minor strokes and there are all sorts of blocked arteries and blog clots involved. The doctors say she is going to be fine, however she is still there and on lots of blood thinners and will eventually have to go back in (once she is more stable) and have some surgery. Not good times for us. So I wanted to send a shout out to Joyce, the best Grandma a girl could ever ask for. She always badgers my mom to turn the heat up because my home is an ice box, and she makes sure that when I go visit her that she always has a blanket for me to snuggle in and an extra pair of slippers for me to wear, and she bought me a Dooney & Bourke purse over Thanksgiving, just because I'm her favorite (and only) granddaughter, and because she drives a Honda Element with XM satellite radio, and that she listens to the 70's disco station really loudly when no one else is in the car. Shes the best..and everyone should send as much love and good karma up to Mass General for her (and me).

So basically those are my explanations. In reality it is some combination of all of that blabber. You should all tell me how much you love me and my blogging and I will blog more often. (no..im not above fishing for comments..you should know that about me)

So, now a true story from my trip to Miami. I went down to Miami for work (I actually spent less than 24 hours there.) After getting to my hotel room at 10pm and ordering $50 worth of room service, including a delightful key lime pie, I settled in to watch "Closer" on TV, an utterly depressing movie where not a single of the main characters are in any way likeable. After the movie, I decided to go to sleep, and apparently, so did the INCREDIBLY LOUD SNORING MAN next door. Thus, I was unable to sleep for about 2 hours, until I finally gave in and started POUNDING on the wall and yelling until the snoring stopped. (I rule)

The next day I spent a few hours by the pool, drinking fruit smoothies, and then I had to go spend 3 hours in a windowless room talking about our software to college kids. Good times. Yet, the guy at the booth next to me, from the US Army Public Affairs Office starting chatting with me. Next thing you know we're talking about college, he mentions he went to American University, and I say " I went to Tufts!"
GO JUMBOS!
He says "That was where I wanted to go, but they rejected me!" Now, I had no idea how to respond to this, and things became awkward, because it became clear that not only was I cuter(cause I was) but that I got into a better college (making me, more than likely, smarter as well.) I've clearly become a terrible person...I blame bassi...

One last thing. I don't really do New Years Resolutions, so instead Im gonna do a little ode to Thanksgiving and say thats its over 20 months since we all graduated from Tufts, and that I am very thankful for danger and bassi- that we became friends in the first place, and that we've all worked to make sure that we stay that way. I love you guys, thanks for being the best friends a girl could ask for. (Sorry..I've become so sappy in my old age- we're 21 days from my 24th birthday- I cry during movies and TV shows...really I used to be a hard ass)

Oh and I also want to explain the title to this post. Now back when I was in high school my friends Dad was hilarious and he used to say all sorts of ridiculous things. One night, my friend Amy was dating a guy named Pat, and he made the lamest comment, "Amy, have you let him PAT you down yet." Of course we all laughed and groaned, and sent him downstairs to get something, he comes up with this huge bowl over his head saying "Im in the cone of silence, silence, silence." Now, up until a couple of months ago I thought this was just the funniest thing I have ever heard. Apparently, its from the show Get Smart, and when one of the Get Smart guys died, it was all over the media, and some radio station played a quote where he says the same thing, and I almost drove my car off the road I was laughing so hard. I think this is what we call a generation gap..either way..I get to share with you..the cone of silence...so you can imagine me there for the past month.