Cameo #2

I think it has to be out there on Worst Wedding Ideas of All Time: Wedding, Elvis-Style (made all the more incoceivable by the third-trimester-status of the bride in this picture--doesn't bode well for anyone in this relationship . . .)
Tip#1: try not to smuggle a watermellon under your dress on your wedding day. It's just weird.

hootie forever.

vh1 is generally good for nothing, in my opinion, (see: brooke hogan) but the 100 greatest songs of the 90s has completely captured my attention and my heart, and it's making me so wistfully nostalgic that i can't even stand it. don't they understand that i have a bedtime? argh.

meet the abber

so you've all met abby, our old friend/new contributor. she's awesome, she's engaged, she's unafraid to use "jizz" right out of the gate.

abby, welcome. glad to have you. and mazel tov.

See for yourself

Cameo visit #1

Well, well, well, B&P blog. We meet again. And this time, I'm bringing my top 100 worst wedding ideas of ALL time. "Why?" you ask. Certainly, 'why' is very the question plaguing the minds of B&P's millions of readers across the globe.
The answer dates back nine days ago, whereupon this B&P contributor went from Modern-Wedding-Anarchist to Newly-Engaged-Modern-Wedding-Anarchist. "A distinction without a difference," you say? Not so. As it turns out, being engaged brings all the more fuel to the fires of modern wedding disgust. Now, wedding-planning has changed from a spectator to full-contact sport, wherein onlookers pounce at any given moment with their heinous concepts of what a nuptial event should look like (and actually believe that you should consider their comments!). With so many horrible ideas and ways to drain your father's TIAA CREFF account, it is a miracle that anyone ever gets to the "I-do."
Therefore, in the spirit of squirting a bit of jizz on all things white and organza-trimmed, I begin my list of worst wedding concepts known to man (to date; obviously time will provide an infinite number more).

Number 100: Paintball Wedding
A delightful ceremony, where the groomsmen escort guests to sit atop paintball bunkers, only to pelt them with pink goop-filled gelatin balls, going upwards of 1000 feet per second (a crowd pleaser, to be sure). When the bride appears on the enemy's goal line, all players open fire on her Vera Wang dress. Wedding vows only exchanged if the bride can dodge the firing squad without marring her perfect dress (wrecking bouquet only incurs a demerit, happily). Bonus points awarded if bride pulls out a semi and douses wedding party. Awesome.
Pros: Unlikely guest list will exceed 10 (two 5-man teams); wedding attire for guests very casual; no need to recycle or sell bridal gown, will be unusable; hot dogs and burgers are perfectly acceptable to serve; BYO lawn chairs . . .