what not to toss

eel and i may have spent part of the weekend sitting on her couch, watching "what not to wear" on TLC and cackling like the witches we are. it's a truly awful piece of television programming, and that's quite an insult coming from someone who watches repeats of "two a days."

in case you've never seen the show (and good for you, by the way), some poor woman with terrible fashion sense gets picked on by these two skinny bitches who show up at her home/workplace, kidnap her and her ugly clothes, insult her whilst they literally throw her entire wardrobe into a garbage can, and then give her $5,000 to buy new clothes, according to their directions. hmmm.....on second thought, this show rules.

anyway, as eel and i were watching this woman cry when her flannel shirts and clogs got tossed, and between forkfuls of birthday cake, i started thinking about my clothes and my attachment to them. for the most part, there's not alot. i can appreciate the jeans that are the perfect length or the sweater vest that makes me feel like a doctoral student, but ultimately, they're just things that i temporarily enjoy, overuse, and then discard.

with 2 exceptions.

first, i have a down vest that was incredibly out of my price range when i bought it as a poor college undergrad, but has provided me with warmth and comfort and at times, the emotional support not provided by my own family. the fit is right, the color is great, and it's gotten me through a boston winter, which says alot. i love this vest, and would be inconsolable if forced to part with it.

second....my adidas track pants. part of the reason these things are so freaking cool is because they're older than i am. i think they actually qualify for "vintage" status. i got them at a garage sale last summer. they're not that annoying swishy material, either. they're a cotton/poly blend, and they're fire-engine red, and they're insanely comfortable. some weekends i spend the entire 48 hours in them, but that's really neither here nor there. they're freaking awesome, they're irreplaceable, and they cost less than a tube of burts bees.

i've provided a photo of said pants in all their glory. as you can see from the junk in the background, while blogging and watching bad tv are high priorities of mine, cleaning my room and unpacking shopping bags are not.

in conclusion, if stacey and clinton ever come a-knockin', they'll have to pry these suckers off my cold, dead legs. i think it was sir william wallace who once said "they may take our hoodies, but they'll never take...our track pants."

Just to be fair...

Well..just to show that I can have a sense of humor about Tom Brady...I present another video. Make sure you watch the whole thing. I'ts hilarious.

Its true Tom...I would love you anyway.



Also, congrats about Gisele. If we're gonna be apart, you might as well be dating the hottest of hot super models. At least shes not some no-name celebrity who is way older than you.

Well done.

P.S.-I promise this the last post about Tom or the Patriots...well..until next season.

meet gob

last week an anonymous b+p reader asked why i was planning on naming one of my shrimp gob. well, here's why:

as you can plainly see, this little guy has taken to riding a segway scooter around the ecosphere.

hence, gob.

he also shoots pennies out of his sleeves, but that's pretty hard to capture with my camera.

happy shins day

this is the new shins album, which drops today. go out and buy it. you won't be disappointed.

last night at the cd release event, they launched into the golden girls theme song, just for shits, right in the middle of their set. why? i have no idea, but they now have a standing invitation to perform at my birthday party.

oh, and the verdict on james mercer sans beard: adorable.

(colts) Blue Monday

According to some scientist in London, today is apparently the most miserable day of the year.

Obviously, the Pats would have to lose last night, in very depressing fashion, leaving me to mourn on what was already going to be the most depressing day of the year.

Its ok...I still love you Tom. I think our defense needs to get younger, and probably healthier would help too. Ill comfort myself with the fact that either way, we'll be back in the playoffs next year.

Go Bears!

5 days till 25...booooooooooooooooooooo

5 days till Danger visit...YAY!

an open letter to charlie rose

dear charlie:

please stop booking interesting guests on your show. i was supposed to go to sleep early last night, but you made that impossible when you chose to interview my favorite writer and his fellow geniuses (genii?).

a girl needs a good nights sleep sometimes, dude. why don't you interview a goddamn actress for a change, and leave the writers to BookTV?

your friend,

danger.

So maybe I should just be considered a part-time blogger

I apologize for the most recent of my many periods of extended absence. As usual Danger stepped up to the plate to keep the blog going with her wit and charm.

I bet you all are wondering where I've been. Alas, the reasons are quite simple.

First, I got a new job. YAY! I finally quit, and am now working downtown in a much happier place, where I do much cooler work, in a corner office (that I share) with lots of windows and sunshine.

Alas, before I started my new job, I spent the entire month of December sitting on my ass. Here is a quick look at my daily schedule.

7:30 am- Roll over in my sleep

9:30 am- Drool on self while sleeping

11 am - Wake-up in time to watch Ellen

Noon: Watch Jeopardy

12:30 pm: Watch the Barefoot Contessa on the Food Network

1 pm: Law & Order on TBS

2 - 3 pm: Run outside, do some errands, get food for dinner...aka actually leave the apartment

3 pm: Law & Order SVU

4 pm: Law & Order Criminal Intent

5 pm: More Law & Order (see a pattern here?)

6 pm: Start cooking dinner, watch CSI on Spike

I think you get it...basically I watched a ton of tv...and never showered...and I'm lazy. I did some Christmas shopping some days, and had lunch with former co-workers....but basically It was the best time ever. The only thing that would have made it better, was if Danger were there to share it with me.

I could have blogged during this extended vacation, but I didn't...because, as noted, I'm lazy. And honestly that was simply too much work and effort for me.

I have nothing else to share at the moment--I have a future rant coming up about a fashion-trend that is making me want to gouge my eyes out (or cut off peoples legs below their knees).

I leave you with this one depressing piece of news, despite my generally sunny outlook on life POJ (post old job.)

I turn 25 in 9 days.

Ouch

name my pets

meet my new pets.

they're not cats, aren't you excited?

they're shrimp. and they live in this very expensive paperweight called an eco-sphere.

"EcoSphere is a calming balance of earth, water, air and life—all parts of a working self-sufficient ecosystem that’s much more than science; it’s an original work of art. Makes a unique gift for those who contemplate the mystery of life on our planet and enjoy the serenity of nature. " (from the Brookstone catalog)

Anyway, my eco-sphere has 4 shrimp living in it, and they make perfect pets because they don't require me to feed, walk, love, or even remember them.

There's 1 big brown shrimp, which I've decided is male (because he's slow), 2 large red ones, and 1 teeny little red one. They need names, and I need help. I'm taking suggestions, so please...fire away. I'm leaning toward GOB for the brown one...

guilty as charged

so i've been cheating on my pottery teacher by going to a snooty, expensive pottery school on the side and tonight i had to come clean. when he saw me leave the studio with my toolbox in tow, the jig was up.

i had to use the old "it's not you" line (always a lie, by the way). it was awkward and painful, and the conversation went something like this:

Pottery Teacher: You're taking your tools?! *GASP!* You've found another place to throw!
Danger: Well....yes, I'm using the studio at *****. It's nothing personal, I swear! It's just...
PT: What do they have that I don't have?
D: Well, for one, a bigger kiln.
PT: But Danger, I thought you said you liked my little kiln. You said it was "cute."
D: I was lying.
PT: Fine. Go ahead and use their big fat kiln. I hope you choke on it!
D: That doesn't even make sense.
PT: Like I care! I bet they won't glaze your mugs like I do.
D: Look, this is getting creepy.
PT: You used me, you little pot-throwing whore!!
D: I'm uncomfortable with this conversation.
PT: Don't leave me! You're my most talented student! And my muse!
D: I'll still be here on Thursdays...
PT: You will? Oh! Great, see you next week!
D: Take care...

okay, maybe that wasn't exactly a word-for-word account, but you get the idea. awkward.

um...

is it bad that instead of watching the president's address on iraq tonight, i watched "late late show with craig kilborn" clips on youtube?

don't answer that.

the I.P.O.B. (international plate of bacon)

i had a plate of bacon for breakfast this morning.

just so you know.

..and i feel fine.

70 degree weather in new york in january probably = the apocolypse, but you know, i'm totally cool with it.

it's entirely fitting that the 2 celebrity sightings that occurred this weekend were 1) "talent" from cable news network for which i "work" and 2) douchebag from mtv's "true life: i'm a friend with benefits." the grossest part is that t-bone and i simultaneously gasped with horror when we saw the true life guy, because we'd been talking about that episode not 24 hours earlier (because we're THAT cool).

on a more positive note, ron mueck's exhibition at the brooklyn museum is awesome and totally worth waiting on the long line for (OR, you could just tell the guard "we just want to go to the cafe" and skip the line altogether).