anybody 'ere from england?

my love of rock bands of the 1990s is well documented on B&P. this year alone i saw pearl jam, hootie, and most recently, oasis in concert. yeah that's right, i love oasis and i'm not ashamed to admit it. i've waited half my life (literally) to hear "wonderwall" performed live and i finally did and it was great.

i think eel and i disagree on this topic, but i am a firm believer in bands that encourage the audience to sing along. it's fun for us drunkies and it must be very cool for the artists to hear 20,000 people sing their songs back to them, so i think everybody wins. i am trying desperately to find an mp3 download of oasis' "don't look back in anger" from wednesday at MSG. it was fantastic.

is it just me?

i love the house band in the freecreditreport.com commericals. that lead singer is cute, in a squirrelly way. i want them to play at my wedding. or fish restaurant. whichever comes first.

Cameo #2

I think it has to be out there on Worst Wedding Ideas of All Time: Wedding, Elvis-Style (made all the more incoceivable by the third-trimester-status of the bride in this picture--doesn't bode well for anyone in this relationship . . .)
Tip#1: try not to smuggle a watermellon under your dress on your wedding day. It's just weird.

hootie forever.

vh1 is generally good for nothing, in my opinion, (see: brooke hogan) but the 100 greatest songs of the 90s has completely captured my attention and my heart, and it's making me so wistfully nostalgic that i can't even stand it. don't they understand that i have a bedtime? argh.

meet the abber

so you've all met abby, our old friend/new contributor. she's awesome, she's engaged, she's unafraid to use "jizz" right out of the gate.

abby, welcome. glad to have you. and mazel tov.

See for yourself

Cameo visit #1

Well, well, well, B&P blog. We meet again. And this time, I'm bringing my top 100 worst wedding ideas of ALL time. "Why?" you ask. Certainly, 'why' is very the question plaguing the minds of B&P's millions of readers across the globe.
The answer dates back nine days ago, whereupon this B&P contributor went from Modern-Wedding-Anarchist to Newly-Engaged-Modern-Wedding-Anarchist. "A distinction without a difference," you say? Not so. As it turns out, being engaged brings all the more fuel to the fires of modern wedding disgust. Now, wedding-planning has changed from a spectator to full-contact sport, wherein onlookers pounce at any given moment with their heinous concepts of what a nuptial event should look like (and actually believe that you should consider their comments!). With so many horrible ideas and ways to drain your father's TIAA CREFF account, it is a miracle that anyone ever gets to the "I-do."
Therefore, in the spirit of squirting a bit of jizz on all things white and organza-trimmed, I begin my list of worst wedding concepts known to man (to date; obviously time will provide an infinite number more).

Number 100: Paintball Wedding
A delightful ceremony, where the groomsmen escort guests to sit atop paintball bunkers, only to pelt them with pink goop-filled gelatin balls, going upwards of 1000 feet per second (a crowd pleaser, to be sure). When the bride appears on the enemy's goal line, all players open fire on her Vera Wang dress. Wedding vows only exchanged if the bride can dodge the firing squad without marring her perfect dress (wrecking bouquet only incurs a demerit, happily). Bonus points awarded if bride pulls out a semi and douses wedding party. Awesome.
Pros: Unlikely guest list will exceed 10 (two 5-man teams); wedding attire for guests very casual; no need to recycle or sell bridal gown, will be unusable; hot dogs and burgers are perfectly acceptable to serve; BYO lawn chairs . . .

spin the pork

my birthday was over a month ago, but i'm still thoroughly enjoying the gift i received from eel:

jesus, step aside. the answer to any of life's complicated questions can be found by asking yourself "what would bacon do?" and spinning the pork. answers range from "shrivel" to "taste really good," though my favorite is "spit hot grease" - something i intend to do frequently.

b+p readers, if you feel really terrible about the gift you didn't get me for my birthday this year, don't fret. please see: chanukah wish list.

oh, and speaking of pigs, the last three meals i've eaten:

1. pizza

2. pizza

3. pizza

that's dinner, lunch, dinner, for those of you playing at home.

p.s. please note, regarding the photo above: i would NEVER get a D+ on a report....especially if it was a report on bacon.

Tuesday Musings

My dad will be in town tonight, which means one thing, free yummy food. This evening we'll be having tapas! I've been day dreaming about the garlicy shrimp for about 24 hours now.

I've started reading trashy celebrity gossip blogs, and my favorite, PopSugar has this sweet game that is super addictive that I think you'll all enjoy: Who is more famous?

After the Pat's demolished the Jets in week 1, I am basically giddy with excitement for the next game, and football season in general. Randy Moss is sick nasty.

I dunno what this is, or where it came from, but it is also impossible to stop once you start.
Escapa!

I want one is these

Damn you Suri!

I'm not going to bother updating you on the last few months of my life, maybe later. If you ask nicely. All I really want to do is talk about Suri Cruise. That kid is the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen. I love her. I want to steal her away from Joey Potter and the alien formerly known as Tom Cruise. She is single-handedly keeping me convinced that I want to have kids someday.

I actually go to gossip blogs just hoping that they have written about Katie and Suri lately. Also, her outfits are fabulous.

I hope she doesn't grow up to be a freak.